Sabbath, 18 July 98

Dear Friends,

In last Sabbath's sermon Tom Davis shared how God has led in his life. He paid tribute to the influence of godly people on his spiritual growth. He detailed a number of his experiences, and the lessons he learned from each. There was one teacher who always carried a 12 inch wooden ruler, using it to enforce discipline, although she never had to use it on Tom. He also made reference to the popular publication, Life's Little Instruction Book.

God approaches all of us in unique ways. Today it was the turn of Matt Clemonds to describe his walk with God. He was impressed by the contrast between his experience and Tom's.

Tom had recounted lessons learned from life. Matt recalled so many life experiences from which he had learned nothing. In comparison with the 12 inch ruler wielded by Tom's teacher, Matt claims his principal kept a 3-foot wooden paddle with Matt's name on it. And Matt shared with us selections from the popular parody, Life's Little Destruction Book.

Matt's first grade classroom included a real tree with a real tree house. Good kids were rewarded for good work by being allowed to play in the tree house. Matt speculates, "I bet that must have been fun for them."

With his mother he attended church regularly. In time he memorized the Lord's Prayer, the Apostles' Creed and the Hail Mary. He did his first confession and communion.

"I guess I believed in God then. But that was the last bit of God stuff I had for a while."

Matt had little contact with his atheist father, both before and after his parents' divorce. He remembers his mother and sister grieving over the family's break-up. He determined to feel and express nothing. His mother looked closely to see how he felt. But Matt's face was blank, the same expression she had so often seen on the face of his father.

During high school Matt devoted himself entirely to girls and trouble. Upon graduation, his Green Beret father offered him exactly three choices: Army, Navy or Air Force.

Matt chose the Navy, where for the first time in his life, he applied himself. He determined to become expert in the art of war. In boot camp and in hospital corpsman school he was the top of his class. He enjoyed the rigorous training of a Navy Seal, but a sudden medical problem kept him from graduating with his class. Instead he was transferred to Guam's Naval Hospital. Matt had been trained and was fully prepared to kill men. Now he was assigned the tender care of women and children. It was not a good match.

Bitterly disappointed, he directed his life to the pursuit of pleasure. He lived only to party. Marriage to a girl of like mind, then the birth of two children failed to provide any sense of purpose.

"We stayed together for about two and a half years and never knew each other. I never met her parents. I never saw her baby pictures. She never let me into her heart. We both had solid brick walls of pain nobody was getting in."

Eventually Matt's wife took their young daughters and left. Matt continued his pursuit of pleasure, with other women, and now with drugs. His new companion was Ronda, a woman he believed he could love, who would give him purpose, who could save him from himself. And inexplicably, Ronda trusted him.

When Ronda moved in, Matt felt his life had a new start. But alas, Ronda was herself not perfect, and could not accomplish Matt's high expectations As he had earlier been unfaithful to his wife, he was now unfaithful to Ronda. He remembered his father's counsel, "Just don't get caught."

But the trusting Ronda began to entertain doubts about Matt. Their relationship became strained. Then Matt's former wife sent his older daughter, Seabree, to live with him (them). The little girl was a responsibility for which Matt was not prepared, and which further strained his relationship with Ronda.

Their mutual goal remained the pursuit of pleasure. That's why they were on the beach together watching the New Year's Eve fireworks as the year 1995 began. Yet as they turned to leave Tumon Bay, Ronda bluntly informed Matt, "I'm not happy."

Matt was upset. "I was her man. I was supposed to make her happy. I was a failure once again!"

Matt began to wonder if life might still offer some purpose. Years before, he had learned something of the Bible from an Adventist co-worker. He remembered viewing several Kenneth Cox video tapes, but without making any commitment to God. Now Matt and Ronda both wished to learn something about God. Matt called Pastor Mayne's house, but the pastor had moved away. Brian Lane lived there now. Matt asked Brian if he could borrow the Cox tapes. Brian promised to find some tapes, and invited them to come for a Bible study.

"We didn't want to hang out with a bunch of Christians (how boring!). We just wanted to borrow some video tapes."

But that's how Matt and Ronda began to study with Brian and Cheryl.

"We felt welcomed, and enjoyed the open minds and hearts of the people we were studying with. We kept coming back. God was leading in miraculous ways. We started to go to church and started praying.

God began to convict Matt that he needed to be honest with Ronda.

"I told God to blot out my sins like a thick cloud and bury them at the bottom of the sea."

But God wasn't quite ready to do that. Matt had been faithful to Ronda for six months. Surely he need not admit to her that he had ever been unfaithful. Yet with his every prayer came the conviction to be honest.

Matt found an effective way to stifle that conviction: He stopped praying. Less than two weeks after he stopped praying, Matt was again unfaithful to Ronda. He was shocked and disappointed with himself, while still hoping to keep his betrayal secret.

But God is sometimes a revealer of secrets. Ronda had a dream which underscored her suspicions. She confronted Matt with her dream, and asked him to confirm or deny it. He tried to tell her yet another lie, but found he no longer could.

So Matt told Ronda the truth, and his worst fears were realized. Ronda was hurt, and moved out. Matt was again alone, taking care of his daughter by himself.

Yet neither Matt nor Ronda were completely devastated by their separation. True, they no longer had each other, but by now they both had God.

"We learned to lean on God first, not each other. We learned that no other person could fill the void that only God could fill. Our church family expressed the love of God in their words, but mainly in their actions without being judgmental."

About a year later, Matt and Ronda chose to be baptized in Tumon Bay. They picked a very public place, on the beach between two bars which they had formerly patronized.

"God brought Ronda, myself, and Seabree back together." I proposed and we had a wonderful wedding. I found healing in the arms of my Lord. I understand forgiveness as He demonstrated it, in a powerful way through the love and forgiveness that Ronda, my beautiful Christian wife, extended to me."

God has once again shown that in all things He will work for good. Matt and Ronda have seen God transform their old weakness into new strength. As Eunice and I have watched God's work in their lives, the Clemonds family have proved an inspiration to us all.

Love,

Bob and Eunice